Many of us feel trapped in the life we live, thinking there is no way out – no way to fix what’s not working, no way to create what we really want. The truth is change is simply a process of choice and action – and we can live the life we desire and deserve, no matter what our circumstances are.
Our only limitation is what we think or believe are limitations. These thoughts are in fact choices. We decide what we choose to think and believe. And then these thoughts, beliefs or “maps of the world” determine the world we land up living in.
Our only limitation is what we think or believe are limitations.
We all do it – we create “rules” in our mind, or “mental blocks” such as, “I can’t leave my dysfunctional marriage because my children are too young” or “I don’t have the education I need to be independent or successful”. Thinking like this is common, and it can also be extremely destructive – not just to the person thinking it, but ironically also to those they believe they are protecting through their thinking. Using the first example, so many people suffer through a dysfunctional marriage in order to “protect” their children when in fact their children are aware of the dysfunction – children know when their parents are distant, detached or unhappy, and not only is this disconcerting for them to live with on a daily basis, it sets a very poor example of what a partnership or marriage should be. This can often be much more damaging to children than seeing their parents be happy and fulfilled in another relationship.
Where limiting thoughts come from
these kinds of destructive or limiting thoughts can be deeply embedded in us. They can come from indoctrination in our childhood and formative years, society or social networks, or they can come about through our perceived experiences. Either way, the sooner we recognise them for what they are, and then dispel them, the sooner we will be on our way to generating and living a fulfilled and joyful life.
We also need to be careful about what we choose to repeat in our minds. Innocently reciting sayings like “money doesn’t bring happiness”, “happy wife, happy life” and even “two wrongs don’t make a right” may sound harmless or even virtuous but can actually steer us down a path of repression and restraint rather than freedom and happiness.
We also need to be careful about what we choose to repeat in our minds.
Let’s look at each of these examples.
If we repeat the saying “money doesn’t bring happiness” in our mind, we are essentially using self hypnosis to both consciously and unconsciously generate a resistance to making money. This happens whether we are consciously aware of it or not.
Similarly, “happy wife, happy life” has seen many a husband surrender to all kinds of dysfunction, even enabling or feeding unhealthy patterns. Often this saying alone results in unbalanced, broken relationships, or people remaining in destructive patterns that are harmful to both parties, and to the children long term.
And finally, when you think about the saying “two wrongs don’t make a right” it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to see how this could steer you down a path of destruction. For example, those in an unhealthy work environment, who have been brought up to believe that standing up for themselves is “wrong”, or leaving a job is “wrong” this saying can keep them trapped in extremely destructive or limiting life choices. What some may consider “wrong” other may consider “right”. It’s an ambiguous saying, that can easily sway us away from where we need to go to be happy and fulfilled. And it can do so while we?think?we’re doing the “right” thing.
These kinds of thoughts can become so powerful unconsciously that we become sabotaged by our own minds without even being consciously aware of what’s going on. It’s a kind of subliminal inner brain washing.
Healthy Self Hypnosis
So it’s a good idea to consider the thinking that’s driving our lives. And a great way to do this is to keep a log of your thoughts, for 2 or 3 days. It’s important to just observe what you say and think –without judgement – writing down what comes to you as if it were someone else you were examining. Then at the end of the third day, you can look for recurring themes, and these will be the ones that are driving your life. These will provide big clues as to why you are where you are right now.
Apathetic style thinking such as “that just my lot” or “what’s the use” is the most destructive thinking style of all. It ensures we remain stagnant, stuck in a rut, and increasingly unfulfilled.
Awareness is 90% of change.
Once we become aware of the thinking, belief systems or world views that are keeping us trapped, we are well on our way to freedom. We become open to making healthier, happier choices.
Awareness is 90% of change.
Then we can start to implement more positive self hypnotic suggestions. Examples could be replacing thinking like “money doesn’t bring happiness” with “money can bring great happiness”. We could correct “happy wife, happy life” with a healthy replacement such as “happy husband, happy wife, happy life”. And we could change “two wrong don’t make a right” to something like “it is never right to put up with the wrongs”.
Our beliefs drive our thinking. Our thinking drives our actions. Our actions drive our life. So when we change what we believe, we automatically change our thinking, and this naturally drives our life in a whole new direction. It’s actually not difficult or complicated, even though we may think it is.
Our beliefs drive our thinking. Our thinking drives our actions. Our actions drive our life.
Life is change. Without change there is no life.
Every second of every day, we are changing. We have to be in order to be alive. Our cells are regenerating, our bodies and minds are restoring, growing, reforming. What we forget is we can decide what the changes are.
From this moment forward, we can decide to choose the changes we want and need. We can take hold of the steering wheel of our lives and direct it where we want it to go. After all, there are no second chances. We only get one shot, right?
From this moment forward, we can decide to choose the changes we want and need.
For more in depth or professional help in changing your life, try working with someone who is able to help you create that magical agreement between your conscious and unconscious mind.
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Lyn M. Macpherson | Harmony Hypnotherapy