by Courtney Wilton
Motherhood is rewarding, yet it’s no secret that the constant demands, responsibilities, and emotional labor can lead to something known as “mom burnout.” This isn’t just feeling tired after a long day; it’s a deep, persistent fatigue that can impact your emotional health, energy, and relationships. The good news? Mom burnout is both understandable and treatable. In this post, we’ll explore what mother burnout really is, how to recognize it, and ways to find balance in your daily life.
What is a Mother Burnout?
Mother burnout, often similar to burnout in other roles, is a state of chronic physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. While motherhood is beautiful, it can also be incredibly demanding, with constant multitasking, nurturing, and problem-solving that often leaves little room for self-care. Over time, these demands can lead to symptoms of burnout, leaving moms feeling depleted and sometimes detached.
Signs of Burnout in Moms
Burnout can look different for each person, but common signs in mothers include:
- Persistent Fatigue: Despite sleep, you still feel completely worn out.
- Increased Irritability: Small things can set you off more easily.
- Feeling Detached or Isolated: You may feel emotionally distant, even from loved ones.
- Sense of Failure or Guilt: Feeling that you’re not doing “enough,” despite your efforts.
- Physical Symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, and other stress-related issues.
- Difficulty Enjoying Motherhood: Even joyful moments may seem muted or overshadowed.
Recognizing these symptoms is a powerful first step. Remember, it’s okay to feel this way – and there are things you can do to start feeling better.
Why Moms Experience Burnout
Several factors contribute to mother burnout, and they can vary widely:
- Constant Availability: Being “on call” 24/7, especially with young children, can feel relentless.
- Touched Out physically – being touched all day everyday
- Lack of Support: Many moms feel they have to do everything on their own, with limited help.
- Self-Imposed Pressure: Society often promotes an ideal of the “perfect mom,” which is simply unattainable.
- Loss of Self: It’s easy to lose touch with personal needs and interests outside of motherhood.
- Increased Mental Load: From scheduling activities to organizing family life, moms often carry a large mental load.
Recognizing these underlying factors helps to understand that burnout is often rooted in structural, not personal, issues. This can help reduce feelings of guilt or failure.
Steps to Recover from Burnout
Recovering from burnout is about finding small ways to restore balance, rebuild energy, and cultivate self-compassion.
Set Realistic Expectations
Understand that there is no such thing as the “perfect mom.” Strive for progress, not perfection. Accept that it’s okay to have both amazing and challenging days without equating one with success and the other with failure.
Ask for Help
Reaching out for help can be hard but transformative. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or hired support, letting someone share the load can make a big difference. Even simple help, like someone watching the kids while you take a walk, can be incredibly refreshing.
Prioritize Self-Care, Even in Small Doses
Self-care doesn’t have to be a weekend spa getaway; it can be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea alone, journaling for ten minutes, or going for a short walk. Carving out these small moments helps replenish your energy over time.
Create Boundaries
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable but is essential for sustainable well-being. This might mean limiting your availability to others (even family) or defining clear times when you’re not “on call.”
Reconnect with Your Passions
Try to bring back an activity you love or explore a new hobby. These “moments of self” help you remember that you’re a whole person, not just a caregiver. Engaging in fulfilling activities can be deeply re-energizing.
Preventing Burnout: Tips for Daily Balance
Preventing burnout is about small, consistent practices to support your emotional well-being. Here are some tips that can help:
- Celebrate Small Wins: Give yourself credit for each day’s accomplishments, even the small ones, and remind yourself that you’re doing your best.
- Practice Mindfulness: Start or end the day with a few minutes of deep breathing, meditation, or reflection to center yourself.
- Stay Connected with Supportive People: Having regular conversations with friends, family, or other moms can be incredibly validating.
- Embrace “Good Enough” Parenting: Allow yourself to be a “good enough” mom rather than an idealized version. Children thrive on love and care, not perfection.
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, mom burnout can feel overwhelming, and no amount of self-care or boundary-setting seems to help. If you’re feeling persistently low, disconnected, or struggling to enjoy life, it might be time to speak with a mental health professional.
Mother burnout is more common than we often admit, and it doesn’t reflect a weakness or failure. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for support. By embracing small daily practices, setting boundaries, and prioritizing yourself when possible, you can find a healthier balance. Remember, a happy, fulfilled mother is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family—and yourself.
About Author
Courtney has been a psychologist for 15 years and after becoming a mother herself became interested in working in the area of supporting women on their journey of motherhood. She is well aware of the ups and downs that comes with being a mother and the joyful chaos it brings. Courtney is a huge advocate of self-care, putting time away regularly to reconnect with who you are outside of being a mum and finding yourself again. You can find Courtney at @nourished_psychology or www.nourishedpsychology.com