When we are young, we often take our friendships for granted. We are pushed into social situations in school, with sports, and with our parents’ friendship groups. Then all of a sudden you are moving out, working, you may move abroad or have babies and families and it can be really easy to lose touch with people, especially as you grow and change as you go down various paths in life.
While thanks to Facebook you can still kind of keep tabs on what people are doing, more people are feeling isolated because of the lack of face-to-face interactions, and frankly, as mums, our kids’ needs often come first which can mean that our friendships are put on the back burner in some of our most stressful and challenging years.
While in your kids’ youngest days it may be necessary to put working out their needs and behaviours first, once you get the hang of things it is important to build friendships and keep them, especially in your adult years, and here is why.
1 – Friendships can help you keep your identity
Being a good mum, having a career, or whatever you may choose to focus on in your life is great, however, without an outlet and social connections, you may be at more risk of feeling even more isolated when things go wrong. For example, your kids start to grow and they will go through phases where they are more independent. If you don’t have an outlet, it can really hurt if they are less social with you. Or on the flip side, a pandemic may hit, and your career may change, this is another thing that is out of your control.
Having friends who you can speak to for their perspective, who you may have a common interest or hobby with is a good way to help you keep being you and to allow you an outlet for when things just don’t go your way. We can lose ourselves in the other things that are happening in our lives, but having people who you enjoy being around and activities that you enjoy doing can be a great way to keep you grounded.
2 – Friendships can reduce the feelings of isolation and stress
That’s right, after two years of on and off lockdowns, many people were feeling isolated, lonely, bored, and stressed. Having friends who you can speak to, banter with, and reach out to can help you feel connected and like you are a part of something. This boosts your happiness and can increase your sense of purpose.
3 – Friendships can help you avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
Friendships can help you avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits in some cases. For example, if you have friends who enjoy walking, swimming, hiking, or the gym, odds are you will end up joining them to do some of these activities which are great for your health and wellbeing.
So, how do we meet friends as adults?
Join an app: There is a great new social media app called KRUNK which is designed to get you OFF social media. KRUNK connects you with people nearby who are interested in a similar activity. It may be horse riding, netball, walking, whatever you are interested in. From there you can meet new, likeminded people, over an activity that you both already enjoy. You can also connect with personal trainers, Chiro, yoga, etc. via the app.
Join a mothers group, a gym with a creche, or hang out at a park with a playground: Being in a local space where other mums are could be another good way of making friends with someone who has a common interest.
Reach out to people who you were connected with in the past: Had a good old work or school friend? Why not reconnect? You had a common interest once, who know you may still enjoy each others company now too.