I’ve got two kids and a newborn. Please make me feel better; what are the worst things you’ve done while trying to keep it all together?
- I’ve had the police turn up at the front door because I’ve bought petrol twice from the Manly Vale service station and driven away after forgetting to pay.
- I walked up the travelator at the mall with the pram while it was going the wrong way and wondered when the world got so hard.
- I drew up 5 ml of Eucalyptus humidifier oil from the medicine stand at 11 pm and gave it to my daughter instead of Nurofen. That was a long night in Emergency.
- I was so exhausted I fell off a treadmill. Broke two front teeth. Not much point being able to fit into your good jeans when your face looks like that.
- I poured expressed breastmilk into my tea. Then drank it anyway.
- I screamed at my four-year-old so hard over his refusal to eat broccoli that my voice was hoarse for days.
- I tried to weigh my baby in a Thermomix. Never mind the fact that it has blades that are sharp enough to MILL GRAIN.
- I strapped a screaming five-month-old onto my chest, went for a long walk along the beach and contemplated walking into the ocean. At least it would be quiet down there.
Dear Northern Beaches Mums,
The above text comes from my novel, Grace Under Pressure. It’s fiction (for one, I only have two kids), but four of those confessions hold true for me. I’ll let you take a guess at which ones.
Seven years ago I joined Northern Beaches Mums. Since then this group has helped me find a paediatrician to cut a tongue tie, a lactation consultant, immunologist, a baby music class where I met some of my best friends, swimming lessons, dance classes, the dates for Nippers registrations, holiday recommendations, safety recommendations and recipes. You’ve kept me company while waiting at pick-ups, in emergency rooms, on the side of swimming pools and in the inky light of 3 am while settling a baby. They say it takes a village to raise a child – and I’d like to say thanks for being mine.
Please, if you feel up to it, nominate the grimmest thing you’ve done when exhausted? I think we could all do with a little solidarity (yesterday, I drove off with a coffee still perched on top of my car).
Tori Haschka is the author of Grace Under Pressure set in Freshwater. She will be joining Northern Beaches Mums for a Facebook Live bookclub on Wednesday 28th of April at 8pm.
Grace Harkness looks like she has it all – two beautiful children, four cookbooks under her belt and an idyllic beachside home #blessed. But add another baby on the way (oops), a spouse that is nowhere to be seen and a relentless list of things she ‘should’ be doing, and Grace is starting to unravel.
When the madness of modern-day motherhood finally pushes her to the brink, Grace and her friends decide to ditch the men in their lives, move in together and create a ‘mummune’ – sharing the load of chores, school pick-ups/drop-offs and endless Life Admin. The new set-up seems like a dream, but is life in this utopian village all it’s cracked up to be?
Grace Under Pressure is a deliciously hilarious, honest and heartfelt portrayal of modern-day motherhood and the saving grace of female friendship.