by Lucy Cheek
In the lead-up to my son starting school, I had a zillion questions. What lunchbox should I buy? How many school shirts does one small human need? How does vacation care work? And how are two working parents meant to navigate a school system seemingly designed for ’60s stay-at-home mums? Then there were the emotions. Grief, excitement, relief, anxiety. And while the school transition sessions were helpful (my son’s school is brilliant, and teachers truly do God’s work), they couldn’t answer everything. Forget school readiness. I wasn’t ready for my child to start school.
I’m certainly not alone. A 2024 review published in the Early Childhood Education Journal highlighted how parents’ emotional experiences during the transition to school are often overlooked. Yet we’re expected to navigate a huge change in family life while simultaneously remembering which day is library day.
If you’re a born worrier like me, here are five things you can do now to make the transition a little smoother – plus a few things you can officially take off your worry list.
5 things to do before Big School starts
1. Nab school stuff in the sales.
Keep an eye out for lunchboxes, drink bottles, school shoes and bags in the Black Friday and Boxing Day sales. Check your school’s requirements before buying, and don’t assume the most expensive option is necessarily the best. Once you’ve got the lunchbox, let your child practise opening it, because nobody wants their first school lunch to become an escape-room challenge.
2. Organise a playdate with a future classmate.
If you know another child starting at the same school, arrange a casual park catch-up (bonus points if it’s at the school playground and you’re allowed to use it outside school hours). One familiar face can make the first day feel a little less daunting. And if you don’t know anyone yet? Don’t panic. That’s what the first few weeks of school are for.
3. Buy a second-hand uniform a few months out.
Having a uniform hanging in the wardrobe can help make this mysterious thing called Big School feel a little more real. Let your child wear it to a transition session, practise getting dressed or stage a fashion parade in the lounge room.
4. Get some shelf help.
Reading books about big school can help them feel more at ease before the first day, encourage them to ask questions and talk about their feelings. Try Daisy’s First Day, How to Go to Big School and The Invisible String.
5. Make a summer holiday bucket list.
Rather than spending the entire summer preparing your child for school, make time for the things you love doing together. Beach mornings, picnics, pyjama days, impromptu Yo-Chi – whatever makes you both happy. It’s the end of an era, and you deserve to enjoy it rather than treating the holidays like a six-week school-readiness boot camp.
What you can stop worrying about
Your child doesn’t need to:
- Know how to read or write. That’s what school is for. Knowing how to write their name is helpful, but they don’t need to be penning long-form sentences aged five.
- Have a ready-made friendship group. Some children arrive knowing half the class; others don’t know a soul. Friendships will develop in their own time.
- Sit still for hours. This is kindergarten, not a Year 12 biology exam. Teachers understand that kids need movement, play and breaks.
- Be completely independent. Practising lunchboxes, toileting and managing belongings is helpful, but children aren’t expected to have mastered every skill before they walk through the school gates.
- Be bursting with excitement. Some children can’t wait to start school, others are nervous, indifferent or change their minds hourly. All perfectly understandable.
The bottom line
Kindergarten teachers are generally closer to Miss Honey from Matilda than Miss Trunchbull. They know they’re welcoming little people who are still figuring things out, not fully formed miniature adults. There may be tears (yours and theirs), forgotten hats and lunchboxes that return home suspiciously untouched. Lower the bar. Your child doesn’t need handmade sushi for lunch; a Vegemite-and-cheese sandwich will do just fine.
And remember: your child isn’t the only one starting school. You are, too. Give yourselves both a little grace.
About Author
Lucy Cheek is a writer, editor and mum of two. She’s the author of Starting School: A Spiral-Free Guide for Parents, a practical, reassuring guide featuring insights from psychologists, kindy teachers and seasoned school parents. She lives in Seaforth with her family and many piles of unfolded laundry.
Photo by note thanun on Unsplash
