Divorce is never easy – even if you decide to ‘consciously uncouple’ like Gwyneth and Chris. Breaking up can sometimes seen like the hard part, but what about the stage after that?
Working out how to navigate your new life without your ex can feel like a massive challenge and one that you might not be totally ready for.
To help you through this tricky time, here are 6 simple things that might help you through your divorce.
Allow Yourself Time to Grieve
It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to cry. It’s completely OK to eat an entire tub od Haagen-Dazs ice cream (maybe not every day).
A divorce will be the end of a part of your life and it’s totally OK to feel sad about it, even when you know there are reasons why you’ve called quits on your relationship.
Allow yourself to experience all your emotions; don’t hide them away in box never to be considered. Process your feelings, work through them, and then look ahead to the next chapter of your life.
Find A Silver Lining
You know that old saying ‘every cloud has a silver lining’? It’s true.
Dark times will always pass and behind them will be better ones. Remember that this too shall pass and there are brighter days around the corner.
Find the good in everything you see and try to stay positive.
Start A Gratitude Journal
If you’re struggling to find the positive side of life after a divorce, why not start a gratitude journal?
Writing down at least one thing you’re thankful for each morning can help you frame your attitude to the day ahead.
Or start a gratitude jar, writing down things you’re grateful for when you think of them (aim for at least one day). Then when you’re feeling low, open the jar and read all the things you were grateful for. It’s a simple reminder that there is so much to look forward to and be thankful for in your life.
Re-Discover An Old Hobby
Have something you used to love but over the years it became seemingly impossible to pursue?’
Whether it’s reading, golfing, horse-riding, or travelling, find your old passion and put your new found time to good use.
Something as simple as breathing can have a huge impact on your well-being.
Consider taking some guided meditation classes where you learn to focus your attention on your breathing and switching off the noise that’s so constant in our 21st century lives.
There are also heaps of meditation videos and podcasts that are a great starting point for meditation beginners.
Meditation is known to lower stress levels, help with anxiety, reduce heart rates and blood pressure and enable muscle relaxation – all good things to help when you’re experiencing a stressful life event like divorce.
By keeping your eating habits in check, you can help improve your mood, your brain function, heart health as well as your sleep.
When you consistently eat junk food or lots of processed foods, it can impair our natural sleeping patterns, and cause us not to function optimally.
Making important life decisions when you’re stressed and you’re not getting the right nutrition is not ideal.
Of course, we’re not machines, and we’re going to have some days where a takeaway pizza and a slab of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk seem like essentials to make it through the day. The trick is not to do this 7 days a week.
Try to maintain a healthy, balanced diet on the whole to ensure you’re nourishing your body with all the good things it needs to keep you going physically and mentally.
When you look after the simple things in your life after a divorce, the bigger things start to take care of themselves. It’s easier to make better decisions when we’re looking after our health – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
So be kind to yourself, look after your health and find your spark.
Ian Shann is the principal mediator and director of Move On Mediation in Perth. Move On offers affordable and effective divorce and family mediation in Perth for separating couples.
Ian’s commitment is simple – to help keep separated couples out of the Family Court and minimise their need for lawyers, saving them time, money and anguish. Under Ian’s guidance, separated couples are able top move on with their lives through amicable divorce mediation.